Thursday, June 17, 2010

Not that again!

In theory, I know buying those pirated DVDs being sold on the street is wrong. I don't do it myself. Half the time it's a scam and when its not, the quality is so terrible you're left confused or giggling at multiple points in the movie where suddenly the color scheme changes and the audio switches into French. But I will admit, the increasing availability of these illegal DVDs is starting to revolutionize my long distance bus riding experience! Cheap versions of the newest releases can now be enjoyed when traveling from city to city, as long as you don't mind some terrible dubbing or the occasional silhouette as the man in front of the the guy recording the video in back of the theater gets up to buy popcorn. In my opinion, its a small price to pay if it means I wont be suffering through Fast and the Furious, and the dozens of cloned sequels that'll spawn from it, for the rest of my life.

Until recently, movie options were limited. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you either have a car or never travel. Just try and tell me you haven't had to sit through each of the following movies at least twice:
  • Transporter
  • Fast and the Furious
  • Cellular
  • Gladiator
  • Ironman
  • Transformers
  • Enemy of the State
  • White Chicks
  • Little Man

Am I right or am I right? Riding a South American bus can really suck. Between this, gross "no solids" bathrooms lacking toilet paper, constant beeping as the gas-pedal-happy driver repeatedly exceeds 100 km, and (as my boyfriend dubbed it) "the human experiment" they do on you all night while vacillating extreme cold and heat from those darn heaters, bus riding can be such a dreaded experience. Where are all those busses I hear about where you get to play organized bingo?

Basically, if your job is to pick out a movie for a South American bus ride, I've deducted this simple recipe:
  1. Genre: Action, especially races against time, or the occasional outlier comedy involving black midgets and/or cross dressers.
  2. Actors: Your options are pretty much limited to Vin Diesel, Russel Crowe, Jason Stathem, Will Smith, or Jodie Foster.
  3. Plot: (if applicable) Your movie needs to involve bad guys, and your plot revolves around nothing more than escaping our outthinking them. Car racing, gory fights, outdated gadgets and crushing things are essential.
  4. Language, sound, music, etc... irrelevant. Its unlikely the bus sound system will work well enough for anybody to really follow the dialogue anyway.
  5. If all else fails, pick up yet another version of Classic Projects

6 comments:

  1. JAMAS veo las películas que se exhiben en el bus. ¿Por qué? porque simplemente apestan, de partida no me gusta el cine Hollywoodense, yo soy fanático del cine arte, es decir películas con las cuales puedo reflexionar y pensar, o que sirvan de inspiración para hacer algunas ilustraciones.

    Mis mejores armas para combatir esas horrendas películas son 1) mi ipod lleno de musica o 2) mi Nintendo DS, incluiría algún comic o buen libro pero me pasa que no puedo tener mi vista fijas en cualquier tipo de texto arriba de un vehículo en movimiento, me mareo y me dan nauseas. =(

    Y si concuerdo contigo los buses chilenos son bien asquerosos, a menos que costees eso buses cama caros, tendrás el mejor servicio pero si no tienes que conformarte con el servicio "normal" el cual no incluye ningún tipo de beneficio extra.

    Btw, your blog is kinda cool now with the graffiti background, I know I spoted that one somewhere but I really don't remember the exact place where I saw it...

    Cheers! ;D

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  2. Hahaha! So true! On the bus between BsAs and Stgo I was stuck watching this crazy DVD of these really old 70s songs. It was so weird and the music was so annoying that I was actually wishing for a cheesy action movie.

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  3. Off topic but I just realized you are not on my google reader! I don´t know how that happened! I saw a comment of yours on Abby´s blog and started wondering why I haven´t read a post from you for so long! I thought maybe you stopped blogging. Then I check my google reader and you´re not there! Ak! No idea what happened! But anyway, you are back on and I am once again following your blog!

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  4. Haha. You forgot bone crunching. I watched this really gory street fighting movie that was played loud because they didn't have those headphone hookups and there was a lot of bone crunching. Yuck...

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  5. Oh Classic Proyect, brainwashing us to hear 80´s and 90´s music forever, you´re so crazy.

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  6. Cbass- i am also a big cine arte fan, which in itself pretty much summarizes everything you will never see on a bus haha. the problem with cama busses is it does really nothign to improve the bathroom situation haha

    also... the graffiti was kinda an accident. glad someone likes it. i decided to browse the new templates and found this one which i thought was abstract colors. i chose it and only then realized it was graffiti when i saw the big applied version. i'd prefer it were still abstract colors rather than graffiti, but the other options weren't as colorful. i wonder if the fact that i live in valparaiso subconsciously makes me feel i need to represent with some colors... ;-) then again, the blog has been grey, my favorite color, on and off for a few years.

    renee and marmo... classic projects, i'm telling you, they love to annoy you to death them on long bus rides!! i personally prefer silence... or maybe the visual without the audio haha.

    lou- i switched my URL a few months ago,perhaps thats how i lost you! ... i also had a broken computer and work like 50 hours a week so i havent been blogging as much as I was in summer!

    sara... yes indeed. maybe a part of me forgot it on purpose in hopes to break the trend

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